50 Shades of Cold!

03 Mar
That thing can kill you if it falls on you!

That thing can kill you if it falls on you!

Today is the fiftieth day this winter where the temperature has been below zero degrees Fahrenheit. Today we broke a 149 year old record. It was -17 this morning, beating the record of -13 set in the 1800’s. For much of this winter, the temperature would have to increase forty to fifty degrees just to reach freezing!

As a frame of reference, for those of you who have never experienced this sort of folly, Try living in your freezer for two months straight. The problem with that analogy is that it does not factor in any wind. You see wind increases the rate of heat loss. The food service industry calls this Flash Freezing or Freeze Drying which sucks all the moisture out. The slightest breeze can drive relative temperature down from minus ten degrees to minus thirty or minus forty with ease. At those temps. exposed skin begins to freeze in less than five minutes! Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Those of you with common sense enough to live anywhere else may ask, “Why on Earth did you leave the beautiful Colorado mountains for such a miserable climate?” I have been asking myself that same question for many weeks. The short answer is: to be closer to aging parents. The answer I’ve been given myself lately is, “I don’t F*^#ing know!” Β I must have lost my mind.

I look out the window at where my flower garden should be and I see snow. In ‘normal” years, the crocuses should be pushing their way up and blooming in the next two weeks. Hell, they would have to have four-foot long stems to reach the sunlight through the snow/ice pack until mid-May at this rate. The stone pagoda in my Japanese garden looks more like Mount Fuji under the snow.

The Weather Nazi’s (What we call meteorologist) are telling us that we will see temps at 33 degrees this Friday. Whoo Hoo!

Okay that’s just sad when people are cheering and parading around in shorts, in the street, because the temp will be above freezing.

I need to go warm my hands up by sticking them in the refrigerator now, so this rant is over. Have a great and warmer day today! πŸ™‚


Posted by on March 3, 2014 in Musings and Odd Thoughts


Tags: , , ,

27 responses to “50 Shades of Cold!

  1. Jade Reyner

    March 3, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Nah.. not as good as my rants.. πŸ˜‰

    • Dennis Langley

      March 3, 2014 at 9:52 am

      That’s because my jaw is frozen. πŸ˜‰

      • Jade Reyner

        March 3, 2014 at 9:59 am

        Oh right.. using speech to text software are you..?? πŸ˜‰

      • Dennis Langley

        March 3, 2014 at 10:03 am

        You’re right of course. It’s the mind and fingers that are frozen. Didn’t you read the post? πŸ˜‰

        The synapses are firing a bit slower. Blood’s too thick and flowing too slowly to the brain. not… enough… oxygen…

      • Jade Reyner

        March 4, 2014 at 8:47 am

        Helloooo…… you still there….??? Do I need to send the husky’s and the sledge??

      • Dennis Langley

        March 4, 2014 at 8:56 am

        A Saint Bernard with a keg of Brandy works!!!

      • Jade Reyner

        March 4, 2014 at 9:14 am

        Okay… getting that organised for you right now. Should be with you in a year or so.. that good for you?? πŸ™‚

      • Dennis Langley

        March 4, 2014 at 9:36 am

        Freeze-dried food lasts forever. I’ll be here. πŸ™‚

      • Jade Reyner

        March 4, 2014 at 9:41 am

        Excellent. Just doing quarantine paperwork. Then they’ll be good to go. πŸ™‚

  2. Scott Weber

    March 3, 2014 at 10:03 am

    We have had January since Dec 9th. Winter has worn out its dubious welcome.
    The ice dam (or Ice Damn as I have named it) on the roof has gained sentience and is demanding sacrifice. Good think I have two kids and not just one.

    • Dennis Langley

      March 3, 2014 at 10:09 am

      They remind me of Piercers from my D&D days. Too bad you have no middle child. They make the best sacrifices, in my mind.

      • Scott Weber

        March 3, 2014 at 12:53 pm

        After reading that, I think my wife views me as the middle child. She sends me up on the roof to deal with our new frigid overlord…

      • Dennis Langley

        March 3, 2014 at 2:52 pm

        That is a problem when She Who Must be Obeyed orders a task to be completed, We of Little Hope must comply.

  3. Matthew Wright

    March 3, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Climate Wars. The Climate strikes back. Revenge of the Climate. World weather’s gone topsy turvy. You guys sound pretty cold over there. Hope things warm up for you soon.

    • Dennis Langley

      March 3, 2014 at 2:54 pm

      It would be nice if it would get warm enough that my nostrils didn’t stick together when I breathe. πŸ˜‰

  4. char

    March 3, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    Yuck! That’s all I have to say.

  5. shelleyhazen83

    March 4, 2014 at 9:17 am

    You must be around the same latitude as me. About an hour south of me, in the Adirondacks, is Saranac Lake, which routinely features the coldest temperature in the entire country. This morning here it was -17. I have actually seen my thermostat hit -33 this winter.

    • Dennis Langley

      March 4, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Kindred spirit. Long distance huddle for warmth. Just because we can survive in this, does not mean we should. πŸ™‚

  6. Kourtney Heintz

    March 8, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    This has been on heck of a winter. Longer and colder than any in my recent memory. So happy we are in March and heading toward April. πŸ™‚

    • Dennis Langley

      March 10, 2014 at 7:55 am

      We are finally headed into a warming trend. About time!!!

  7. Pete Denton

    March 9, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    We were threatened with a similar winter and it just hasn’t happened. Too mild thankfully for all the snow they promised and temperatures. Hope it warms soon. πŸ™‚

    • Dennis Langley

      March 10, 2014 at 6:10 am

      Looks like a warming trend is here. We shall see. πŸ™‚

  8. 4amWriter

    March 10, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    I hear you, Dennis. Barely. Snowdrifts reach my chin in some parts out here. (And I am not a short gal.) I am eager for spring. And it better be a damn good one. πŸ˜‰

    • Dennis Langley

      March 11, 2014 at 7:23 am

      I just hope it’s a slow melt or we all may get swept away in the flood.;-)

  9. ltownsdin

    March 17, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    I remember a few winters like that growing up. My Mpls. friend tells me it’s about to get rough again, but Minnesotans are hardy and ranting and raving is definitely a good way to create some heat. πŸ™‚ Hang in there.

    • Dennis Langley

      March 17, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      LOL. There has been enough ranting and raving to melt the polar icecap this winter. maybe that’s what they call global warming. πŸ™‚


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